THODA TOOTNA BHI JARURI HOTA HAI !

Kabhi kabhi life itni fast chal rahi hoti hai na, ki hume samajh hi nahi aata ki hum actually feel kya kar rahe hain. Bas din nikalte jaate hain, reels scroll hoti rehti hain, aur andar kuch chhota sa part humara chup ho jaata hai. Mere saath bhi kuch aisa hi hua.

Main hamesha se expressive type ki rahi hoon — ya shayad mujhe lagta tha ki main hoon. But sach yeh hai ki jab real moment aaya, jab mujhe apni side explain karni thi, jab mujhe kisi important insaan ko batana tha ki main kya feel kar rahi hoon… main chup ho gayi. Aur wahi silence sabse zyada loud ho gaya.

Kabhi socha hai? Ek chhoti si misunderstanding kitni badi distance create kar sakti hai. Ek “tum samajh nahi rahe ho” aur ek “tum batate kyun nahi” ke beech mein poori kahaani kho jaati hai. Mere saath bhi wahi hua. Main kehna chahti thi, bohot kuch. Har wo baat jo mere dimaag mein clear thi, par jab bolne ka time aaya… words hi nahi mile.

Aur phir ek din realize hua — log humari intentions nahi dekhte, wo sirf actions dekhte hain. Tumne kuch feel kiya ya nahi, tumne try kiya ya nahi — yeh sab matter karta hai, but agar wo saamne wale tak nahi pahucha, toh wo exist hi nahi karta unke liye.

Mujhe lagta tha ki agar koi sach mein care karta hai, toh wo bina bole samajh lega. Par ab samajh aaya — yeh movies wala concept real life mein kaam nahi karta. Real life mein bolna padta hai. Explain karna padta hai. Aur kabhi kabhi fight bhi karni padti hai for your side.

Sabse weird part yeh tha ki mere dimaag mein ek “perfect conversation” chalti rehti thi. Jaise main us insaan se milu, aur wo bole “kya hua tha us din, batao apni side”, aur main sab clearly bata du. Everything sorted. Simple. Clean. Happy ending type.

Par reality mein aisa hota nahi hai. Reality mein timing galat hoti hai, mood off hota hai, ego beech mein aa jaata hai, ya phir chance hi nahi milta.

Aur yeh cheez thodi hurt karti hai — jab tumhare paas kehne ke liye sab kuch hota hai, par sunne wala nahi hota.

Lekin shayad yahi life ka ek lesson bhi hai — closure hamesha dusre log nahi dete, kabhi kabhi khud ko dena padta hai.

Maine yeh bhi notice kiya ki main overthink bohot karti hoon. Har situation ko 10 baar replay karna, “agar main aisa karti toh?” “agar main us waqt bol deti toh?” — yeh sab normal lagta hai, par actually yeh tumhe present se door le jaata hai. Tum past mein atak jaate ho.

Aur sach bolo toh, past change nahi hota.

Ek aur cheez jo maine seekhi — attachment aur self-respect ke beech ek thin line hoti hai. Kab tak tum wait karoge kisi ke liye? Kab tak tum expect karoge ki wo samjhe? Aur kab tum khud ke liye stand loge?

Yeh easy nahi hota. Especially jab feelings real ho.

Par gradually samajh aaya ki kisi ko lose karna end nahi hota. Kabhi kabhi wo ek redirection hota hai. Shayad tumhe khud ko samajhne ka time chahiye hota hai. Shayad tumhe yeh realize karna hota hai ki tum kitna deserve karte ho.

Aur haan, main abhi bhi perfect nahi hoon. Abhi bhi kabhi kabhi wo thoughts aate hain — “kaash main bol paati”, “kaash ek chance mil jaata”. But ab main un thoughts ke saath rehna seekh rahi hoon, unke against fight nahi kar rahi.

Because healing ka matlab forget karna nahi hota. Healing ka matlab hota hai accept karna — jo hua, jaisa hua.

Ab main thodi zyada real ho gayi hoon. Thodi kam expectations rakhti hoon logon se, aur thoda zyada focus karti hoon khud par. Main ab bhi dream karti hoon, par ab main unhe sirf dreams nahi rehne deti — main try karti hoon ki jab chance mile, main bolun, express karun.

Agar kuch kehna hai, toh keh do. Agar kisi ko explain karna hai, toh kar do. Kyunki silence kabhi kabhi misunderstandings ka sabse bada reason ban jaata hai.

End mein bas itna hi — life perfect nahi hoti, log perfect nahi hote, aur situations toh bilkul bhi nahi. Par tumhara growth real hota hai. Tumhari learning real hoti hai.

Aur shayad… thoda tootna bhi zaroori hota hai, taaki tum khud ko fir se better tareeke se jod pao. 

-Himanshi singh !